10th December 2017: We are engaged!

The unplanned plan of a planned plan, is the best to describe our engagement day.

Fell in love with the stage

Both families knows about our relationship and sometimes talked about it (not in serious way, anyway) but we knew that they are ready for us to be tied for a period of time before getting married.  Early November, his mom invited me to join their family for a 3D 2N trip to Cameron Highlands on the next week, which I delightedly agreed to. (Cameron trip is in another entry)

At the end of the trip on our way back in the car, his father (my future FIL) said that this might be their last single trip (referring to all of his not yet married kids). Me, acting as innocent as I could, pretended I did not hear a thing hehe. I still felt awkward till that time each time marriage topic comes up. 

About two weeks later, his father texted me to talk about the proposal (meminang) in December. In a Malay tradition, a man and woman are not considered engaged (even if the guy proposed to her romantically in personal). The man will have his relatives to go and meet her relatives (the eldest male from both is keynote speaker) in a usually small and simple ceremony. The speaker from the male side would propose the girl, mentioning which one she is without mentioning the name usually. For example, we are here to ask permission from your family to pick the flower in your garden. Only after both sides agreed to a mutual decision and conditions, the couple is considered engaged. The ceremony would usually end with the future MIL putting on the ring to the girl. The couple is not allowed to be in the discussion and is only allowed to come out(girl) and come in (guy)once the discussion has ended.

Soon as I returned from the trip, I was busy preparing for my project proposal defend session on 28^th and 29^th Nov. I remember clearly the date when my future FIL texted me, 23^rd Nov cause I was in my first day for residential college program, which I happened to be the director of. I was so busy checking many things, and doing stuff but when it happened, I was so distracted the whole 3 days cause I had to put my mind on two important things. Three actually; 1. Proposal defend, 2. Residential college program, 3. Engagement day.

One of the panels complimented me personally saying I did great, yeay! And Sharu did soooooo well too!!

Safuan, Irene and me.

I called my father, informing about my future FIL plan. He immediately told me to ask them to come on the 10^th of Dec. Can you imagine? From 23^rd goes to 10^th? Which meant I only had around 10 days to prepare for the engagement after I finish my work at school? I was super super suuuuuper distracted all the time. Not in a bad way of course.

It felt like the process was blessed by God as I got everything I wanted, from the engagement trays to the makeup artist to my dress. About the trays, I actually told his mom not to bring any trays cause I wanted it to be a very simple and minimal, private ceremony between two families.  Then suddenly my now fiancé called me to inform his mother had just booked 5 trays. I was so panicked. If he gives me 3, I have to return with 5. Now that they are bringing 5, I have to do 7 trays! Let me tell you, I was so panic and restless.

Aren't these trays lovely? I had to compliment myself for I did it all by myself ok haha

I had to brainstorm for the 7 trays (not complaining but pheww das a lot) and alhamdullillah I managed to buy & booked everything I wanted. Now that you have a ceremony with lots of trays, of course you have to match it with an engagement stage, don’t you?

*crying emoji*

So I looked up online to find a cheap, beautiful stage that is not too pricey for a small ceremony to find that everything is expensive for my humble budget tsk. After going through so many unacceptable rates, I found an account doing wedding stage business. A very unconvincing one with very few photos updated long time ago. Trying my luck, she replied to me and we had a positive conversation. She told me I need to pay half of the price to book. I was so in rush and I do not know how, but I banked her in a full payment. Yes, FULL PAYMENT. This time, I really gave it in to God. If this lady lie to me then there is nothing I can do, she might need to do it to feed her family.

And a day before the day, she came to set up the stage. I was so relieved this time. Takpayah susah susah buat pelamin sendiri yang entah rupa apa haha.

The next day, my MUA which was my classmate when I was in secondary came a bit late. For no reason, I went to the kitchen area and helped my relatives to prepare the ingredients for lunch later after the ceremony. Just so you know, I helped just so I did not looked so proud when people would actually understand that the “princess of the day” will be busy with herself. Guess what, I had to clean turmeric (kunyit hidup) so I did it anyway without thinking it will stain my fingers. Lucky me I’m a right handed so it stained only my left hand.

My heart beat fast as the discussion progressed. And then my big sister came to my room and said, “Adik ready, dah nak siap bincang”

Mimi Monica, Shazreen Gaga, Diana Ross, Syera Gomez, Syiro Collin.
Thank you so much girls!

Without these girls, I might have collapsed behind the curtain. My heart beat even faster and I started to feel the butterflies.

Then I was called out. All eyes were on me. ALL EYES.

So I was introduced to my fiancé’s relatives and now come the ring part. I was clueless on which finger will the ring be put on so I googled it, even asked my friends about it so I practiced earlier which angle should I sit so it would look nice on camera (opsss haha). Right hand, confirmed.

So I hand out my right hand and then his aunt, who put the ring for me said,

“No no, engagement ring is on the left hand. Why are you shaking?”

First, wrong hand. Second, I was shaking so much that it was so obvious. Even my legs were shaking too while sitting haha.

Ok the third one. Remember earlier in the morning I helped in the kitchen?

Focus on those ugly fingers. Good job aimi.